While We’re Predicting Stuff (With Links)

So since it’s MiLB Opening Day, and Matt did a set of predictions, and so did a bunch of other people, our pal and TheGoodPhight.com’s Cormican included, I thought I’d get you warmed up for Box Score Recaps with a set of predictions of my own. Enjoy!

1. Jon Lovitz will follow Kelly Dugan around like his own son. The childless Lovitz showed during Spring Training his affinity for his good friend Dennis’ son, Kelly, and with no further current television or film prospects, and no one to call him “Pops” or “Daddy” or whatever, Mr. Lovitz will instead gravitate towards a baseball prospect.

2. Carlos Tocci will wear out his welcome at The China Buffet King in Brick, NJ. While trying to add weight to his frame, Tocci and his 80 metabolism will nearly bankrupt the popular local establishment. Also he sometimes takes Larry Greene and Dylan Cozens with him, which doesn’t help. Them’s big boys, is what I’m saying.

3. Reading’s mascot ostriches will tick off Ken Giles in some way, resulting in 101 MPH to the dome. RIP ostriches.

4. Someone will finally tell us what happened to Kevin Brady – I’m not holding my breath on that one.

5. Chris Nichols will like the same movie as me and we’ll discuss it on Twitter. This happens. Good dude, good taste in flics.

6. “Makes ‘Em Nervous Ervis” Manzanillo will make people nervous once again, but not with his once devastating change-up, but rather with his choice of companions: a four hundred-ninety pound Bengal Tiger. Turns out he’s practicing to become a magician or something. I don’t know.

7. Ethan Martin will grow all his beautiful hair back and we’ll all forgive him for associating with Chipper Jones.

8. Miguel Alberto Gonzalez will turn out to be called Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez. Whoops. Also, maybe he’ll pitch at some point. Maybe.

9. This T-Shirt, of my own super professional design, will become a best-seller.

10. So many lists have either five or ten things on them, but sometimes, number five or ten is just a space filler. Ever notice that? Hey, that link’s NSFW, just so you know. Also it has nothing to do with baseball. And quite possibly it will be offensive to you.

Enjoy the season!

10 thoughts on “While We’re Predicting Stuff (With Links)

  1. Classic – “80 metabolism” – great joke that only minor league groupies would get. I love it!

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      1. Except for his own twitter feed which still says “pitcher in the Phillies minor league system.” I’m assuming he just never got around to changing that.

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        1. Yup, I think he said at some point that he’s a teacher. I thought he was subbing, which isn’t uncommon for college grad players, but now I think he’s a teacher for good.

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    1. Just Dugan, I believe, since he knows his father. Murph (I think) interviewed him during ST & I’m pretty sure he mentioned being in some movies Dennis directed (though I tuned him out for the most part, so I’m probably misremembering 99% of it.)

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