What will 2014 hold for The Phillies? We’re about to find out. *Gets in time machine. Types “2 Days Into The Future” into interface. Gets transported to a distopian future, the date: January 1, 2014. Opens door and reports*

There’s some sort of bizarre parade of folks strutting down Broad Street. I’m really not sure how else to describe it. Wait, I’m getting a closer look now – It’s the 2014 Phillies. And that’s not a strut…IT’S A LIMP!

Because they’re all pretty old and likely to be injured. Get it? And I said they were “strutting” because that’s all I remember of that one time I watched The Mummers Parade on TV when I was like eight years old. Ok, bye.

Well that bit ended abruptly. Anyway, Happy New Year to you all!

Discuss.